How I Came to Faith in G-D
Updated: Oct 31, 2018
By Leta Van Brussel
I was raised Catholic as a child, along with the mythology of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. When I became a teenager and began to analyze things and to think for myself, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and G-D no longer seemed logical to me in this physical world where I could see and touch “real things.”
So I stopped going to church - no church was going to tell me what to believe - I was going to find my own beliefs. I did not believe G-D spoke to Moses. I thought Moses made up the 10 Commandments to keep order so he could get the Israelites out of Egypt; and because he had spent time in the desert, he knew when the wind would blow just right to part the Reed Sea. I thought someone had stolen Yeshua's (Jesus's) body from the tomb, and He had not risen from the dead. This made more sense to me.
G-D was not part of my life for the next sixty years. Though I have always enjoyed philosophy and read books on the major religions, more of them convinced me of my need for G-D in my life.
We all have an innate (inborn) knowledge of G-D. In nature I could see proof of His existence. I called Him the “Spirit of the Universe.” In this way He was real to me. I was 74 years of age when I began to worship Him in nature. Then I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer - fast growing and malignant. I saw it on the sonogram and the biopsy confirmed it. I went out onto my patio and prayed to the “Spirit of the Universe” for healing. As I was praying, I felt a bolt of G-D’s energy go into that spot on my breast!
I later had surgery and that breast was removed. When they examined it in the lab, no cancer could be found! G-D had healed me! I refused chemotherapy. I said “I’ve been healed” and walked out. G-D had proved to me not only His existence, but also that He is my Father, and cares for me. I loved Him with all my heart, and surrendered to His will.
I wanted to worship with other believers, but did not want a church telling me what to believe - I had found G-D on my own. So I found a pagan group with whom I could worship in nature. They did not have a doctrine, nor a hierarchy so that was freedom for me to believe as I had experienced. Until they insisted I choose a pantheon. I said “I can’t do that. I believe in one G-D!” I left them and went back to worshipping alone.
Then when I was 76 years old, and deep in prayer one day, G-D spoke words into my mind. He said, “Your name shall be Humility.” I was quite surprised at having been spoken to - this had never before happened to me! And I was surprised at the name He gave me - till in later reflection I realized it is a virtue I need to work on.
Three weeks later, while I was again in worshipping prayer, the words “I want you to be my servant” were spoken into my mind. I said “Yes.” Then He spoke the words "You must promise obedience" into my mind. I again said “Yes.”
I again began reading books on all of the major religions. None of them revealed anything to me. It was Sukkot and Abigail invited me to Brit Ahm to see a play she had produced with the youth group that night. I went because of friendship with Abigail, but I was not going to take part in any worship - that was organized religion - they tell you what to believe! But G-D had other plans for me. He used Abigail to get me there, then He took over! By the second worship song, I was joining in and singing praises to G-D from the bottom of my heart. Tears ran down my face. This is what I had been needing - community that worshipped the one G-D in the way that I do.
I began attending Brit Ahm worship services on Saturdays, and their classes and Bible studies. I soon realized that if G-D spoke to me, a “nobody,” He certainly spoke to Moses! When G-D told Moses “These are My commandments forever and for all future generations,” He meant to never change or do away with any of them. So I will follow the laws G-D gave to Moses.
I thank G-D for living among us as Yeshua (Jesus) who showed me how to follow these commandments, and for offering His flesh in atonement for our sins. As G-D left the burning bush, He left the tomb because He had finished the work He had come to do. I thank Ad-nai (G-D) for His mercy and grace in letting me know Him, and not opening the earth to swallow me for my rebellion!